Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Animal Farm - Colombo style

The United States, the Great Satan to our good friends from Iran (we think of them in the same terms, although we are not quite so impolite as to openly say so) have had a wee problem with their embassy in Colombo.

A monkey (not Comrade Wimal W who has been seen scaling the walls of many an embassy and may be easily mistaken for one on account of his on his activities if not just his appearance ) had invaded the premises.

Spot the similarities

Toque macaque (Macaca sinica) is a reddish-brown-coloured Old World monkey endemic to Sri Lanka, where it is locally known as the rilewa or rilawa.

Comrade Wimal W (apparatchik extraordinaire "I will stop using my gmail account. Let us boycott Pepsi, Coca Cola, Google and McDonalds", commonly known as a buffoon).

(Images borrowed from here and here, hope nobody minds)

Sources within the embassy have also revealed that it is infested with...Rats. Gigantic rats that eat anything, from paper, to clothing, to electric wiring.

The unsolved mystery is where this wildlife is coming from, given that the the embassy lies between the sea and the main road and is surrounded on all sides by a concrete jungle that is about as hospitable to animal life as the face of Mars. There is only one patch of greenery on the entire stretch, the sprawling gardens of Temple Trees, official residence of the Prime Minister.

The prevailing theory is that the monkeys and rats have crossed over the Galle Road to take up residence at the American embassy. (Note : Crossovers, crisscrossing, double crossing and backstabbing are all part and parcel of the great parliamentary tradition of Siri Lanka so it is quite possible that the animals have learned a lesson or two).

More cynical members of the public (and assorted INGO's, and other international busybodies) may wonder if this is a case of the rats fleeing a sinking ship. True patriots however believe that these intelligent animals are in fact a fifth column, sent to sow confusion, fear and embarrassment amongst the enemy. So far, it appears, they have done a good job. New diplomats posted to Colombo are now advised to leave their families behind and bring a cat along instead......



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