Tuesday, January 04, 2011

The proposed ban on miniskirts

Sri Lanka is now contemplating a ban on miniskirts. The ban was proposed supposedly following complaints about women wearing skimpy clothing.

I naturally assumed that Sri Lanka, the first nation to defeat terrorism, was now proposing to be the first non-Islamic, non-communist, country to impose sartorial regulation on its people- but no; Uganda, Chile and surprisingly enough, a small town in Naples have beaten us in this race. Not all were successful in implementing the ban but they were all ahead of the race in proposing the ban.

Nevertheless, we can be confident that our ban will be the best of all and to this end I have a few suggestions to the authorities. For a start, what exactly should be the prescribed length of a skirt ? Given that women come in all shapes and sizes it is not possible to specify a fixed length, nor is it practical (however desirable) to subject every skirt to inspection. Therefore we need to have regulations that are flexible. We need to take a leaf from the book of one who has perfected the art of sartorial regulation and where better to start than a convent?

St Bridget's convent Colombo, specifies precisely the dress of its pupils:

* White uniform;
Pocket with the SBC monogram (available at the School Bookshop)
* Length : up to the back bend of the knee
* Pleats : 4 box pleats all of equal size
* Darts : 2 side darts only
* Waist : 3 inches lower than the usual waist
* Belt : Loosely with 6 loops. Belt must be sewn at the 2sides
* House Badge - to be worn daily (available at the School Bookshop)
* School Tie - to be worn for school functions only(available at the School Bookshop)

The length is specified as being an in lower than the back bend of the knee, a description that can be applied easily and readily to any woman, thus fulfilling the basic requirement of clarity and universality that must be met by all laws. The nuns further specify the position of the waist and the number of pleats, all carefully designed to give the girls a suitably frumpy look and ideas that the relevant ministry can also incorporate into the proposed dress code. After all, women my try to subvert the regulation by wearing exceptionally tight skirts with (horror of horrors) long slits that may send paragons of virtue to a state of cardiac arrest. An example of such an insidious design is attached, purely that the authorities can beware of the risk (and take a strong shot of arrack after reading the post).

Lets hope the authorities implement the uniform with no further delay, we will be the first in the world and dream come true for those who entertain fantasies involving school uniforms.


Angel said...

*takes a scissor to all my frumpy skirts and designs thigh high slits*

Thanks for the idea, JP!

Jack Point said...

Always a pleasure, Angel:)

Scrumps said...

Oooooh - school uniforms? Kinky! :P

HNY by the way!

Jack Point said...

Happy new year to you too, Scrumps.

Gadgetgirl said...


santhoshi said...

Thats interesting news on chile and naples. Seriously what next no sleeveless clothes or shorts?
So ridiculous if they want more tourism they are right on track :)

Guiding Spirit said...

And what about this proposed move?

"The Sri Lankan government says it will construct a park for romantic young couples who want freedom to be together without being victimised by police."

Jack Point said...

Guiding Spirit, that was announced after they arrested a few hundred couples in Kurunegala and (I think) Kadawatha for 'indecent' behaviour.